Sunday Mop Up 09/21/08

Hi there. Yeah, I'm alive. Thanks fer checkin' in on me. I don't have a bunch to report, but I thought I'd sit down while the laundry is laundering, while the coffee is cafeinnating my sluggish brain, and while the Texas morning is still cool and breezy and completely unTexan, and pound out a little update that I call my Sunday Mop Up. It's beautiful out today.

Fat Ass Update

Several weeks ago now, I returned to see my doctor about my weight loss progress. I knew I was stuck and not losing. I just didn't know how bad it was, because I don't weigh myself. I hadn't been weighed or checked up on in nearly 8 weeks, so I really needed to get in and see what was going on.

The news was worse than expected. I had not only stopped losing, I had put 10 pounds back on. I was devastated. Crushed. I felt like a complete failure.

It wasn't like I was binge-prone. Sure, I was eating regular food, but I wasn't eating massive quantities of greasy fast food or anything. The doctor tightened my band by another half cc, and we talked about things like the SPEED at which I eat, the choices of food I am consuming, and the practice of not drinking ANYTHING while I eat, and avoiding water for at least an hour or two AFTER I eat. It defeats the purpose of having the pouch if, everytime you fill it, you wash the contents out with liquids, right? Of course. But, seriously, have you ever tried eating without a sip of anything during your meal? And then not drinking for HOURS afterwards? It's a challenge for me, let me tell you!

Dr. Garth patted me on the back and sent me on my way back to Austin, and I had a "Come-to-Jesus" meeting with myself all the way back home.

I spent the next week researching some diet plans: Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, LA Weightloss, Opti-Fast, and Weight Watchers. I decided that I was going to kickstart my ass by joining a plan.

I settled on Nutrisystem, because it was so much less expensive than Jenny Craig, and I didn't trust that I could exert the self-discipline to shop for the right stuff, and weigh my portions as is the requirements of Weight Watchers. With Nutrisystem, I order my food two weeks at a time on the phone, it comes pre-packaged Overnight delivery, and I am not cooking.

Have you seen the portions with these Nutrisystem entrees? HOLY SHIT! Puny, tiny, miniscule sized portions. There is no way I would be able to succeed on this if it weren't for...

Salads!

I can make and eat as much salad as I want to on this diet, and I am one salad-making and salad-eating mofo, I assure you. Fresh romaine, spinach, red onion, bell pepper, sliced mushrooms, tomatoes, broccoli slaw, carrots, radishes, a little bit of pecan or walnut pieces, and some diced Granny Smith apples in a big bowl, dressed with an olive oil and balsamic vingarette is my first course of just about any dinner I eat now. I chase that with the little Nutrisystem entree and I am good to go!

I've dropped 15 pounds in three weeks. That's the original 10 that I put back on, PLUS another five.

I'm back in the saddle, bitches!

The new skinnier jeans I bought a month ago are gettin a little baggy on me, so I went back to the clothes store Friday and tried on the pair that, last visit, I could zip up but not really sit down in.

They fit beautifully now. Didn't buy a pair, because I can still wear the others, and I don't want to be buying new pants every time I turn around. I'm going to see what the next two weeks bring before I spend more money on clothes. I go back to see Dr. Garth on Oct. 6th. I'm only committed to Nutrisystem for another two weeks. I am hopeful I can drop another 10 pounds by then, and I am hopeful because....

I start working with a personal trainer next week. Well, it's a YMCA staff member who offers his services at an additional charge, but his fee is so affordable it is RIDICULOUS and I just had to step up my exercise program somehow.

I will meet with this guy for a half hour twice a week, and we will focus on a little weight training, and some Core Strength training. For example, I will see this guy on Tuesday and Thursday after I have done my cardio on the treadmill for a half hour, then work with him for a half hour. Twenty minutes with the weights, and 10 minutes of Core Strength (abdominal exercises with things like the medicine ball, stretching, and the like).

Days I don't see him, I will just keep the treadmill going for a full hour. I will take two days off entirely per week.

If this schedule doesn't kill me, it should really impact my weight loss. I'm scared and I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'll keep you posted.

E-Male

Thought I would share an e-mail that I received last week:

Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2008 07:20:13 -0700
From: xxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Subject: I love you
To: jimmycity@hotmail.com

Hi Jimmy
I chubby daddy bear from KSA
Please Can you send me more gallery for your (hairy armpit)
I want smell
Thanks

Reads like a Hallmark card, doesn't it?
I passed it to a few of my friends, and here's what one smartass had to say:

"Please send me pic of ass by camel so I can smell. "- Dave

Nice. Thanks, Dave!