Introducing Our Newest Family Member

Shelley

On Memorial Day Weekend, we adopted a cat. Ron has been asking for a pet for a year now and, although I consider myself a "dog person", I don't think it's fair to have a dog in a small townhouse that doesn't have a yard for a dog to protect and call their own. The compromise was getting a house cat.

The rules were simple: no kittens, had to be a rescue, and it had to be a fat cat. Our household is for chubby mammals only.

So, we found Shelley, after initially looking at another cat. I don't know, she looked at me like "yeah, whatever" and I was hooked.

And, surprisingly, I'm really not sorry about the decision.

Shelley cracks me up.

Shall I share a story? I think I shall.

On nights when Ron has to work, I'll be in bed around 10:30PM while he is showering and dressing. She's nowhere to be seen then, but shortly after he leaves the house and things have settled down, she'll jump up on the bed and "tuck me in" - which is really just a demand for attention (scratches and pets) - before I fall asleep. Any time she gets up on the bed, though, she is really noisy and loud. This cat is very vocal. It's like she's bitching that I haven't been petting her enough and just gives me Hell. However, she'll only take about five minutes of strokes, and then she jumps off the bed. She is done with me. I am dismissed, and she has important shit to do.

Later.

Sometimes I call out "You're WELCOME!" as I hear her bounding down the stairs, because you really get NO sense from her that she appreciates your consideration.

She usually doesn't get back in my face until about 6 or 7AM - when she wants attention again, and the bitching starts all over. She really IS a Diva.

So, last night Ron leaves at 10:50PM and by 11:05, she's up on the bed, instructing me on where she wants scratched. A lot of time is wasted as she tries to find the most comfortable place on the bed to lie. This is a nightly occurrence. There's a lot of circling and sniffing and almost-lying-down and popping back up that goes on. And, while this hunt goes on, I had BEST be scratching and petting, by God, and she's quick to remind me. Often times the perfect place is just beyond my arm's reach, which annoys her and makes her have to get back up and start the process all over again when I can't connect with her. She grumbles about it the entire time. So,finally last night, after the allotted five minutes of acceptable appreciation of her is complete, she bolts without even a "thank you", as per usual.

"Of course," I say to the empty room and I roll over to fall asleep.

At 11:20, Ron calls because he has forgotten some important paperwork that he needs. I get up, dress, and take the papers to him at the hotel. When I get home, I crawl back into bed but can't fall asleep right away, so I grab my phone and start playing a little game app on it to kill some time and make me sleepy.

Thirty minutes later I'm drowsy, so I turn off the phone, set it on the nightstand and tug on the comforter that I'm under, and roll over. At the instant that I tug and turn, I see Shelley, in the corner of my eye, being launched in the air at my feet with a startled "Meow!". Without me realizing it, she had quietly jumped back up onto the bed and snuggled at my feet on the top of the comforter while I played on my phone. Pulling on the blanket and turning at the same time had trampolined her into the air. While we were BOTH surprised, I reacted by bursting out laughing. She, on the other hand, was thoroughly pissed off. Seriously angry kitty. She didn't jump off the bed and run away, but instead marched up the bed towards me, put her little face up to mine and gave me an adamant "Rrrrarphhh!", which I figure means "What the FUCK?" in Cat. I swear to God, she was GLARING at me.

I apologized, sincerely and repeatedly, but she demanded ten extra minutes of "penalty attention", about which I did not argue. I figured it was only fair. She ended up on her back with her belly upwards, and her legs splayed out, while I rubbed and scratched her tummy. Ten minutes later, she rolled back upright, sneezed, stretched, and was done with me. She jumped off the bed and headed downstairs without even looking back.

Later.

I think I'm forgiven, but it's hard to tell...