Holiday News!

'Elf' jailed over dynamite hoax on Ga. mall Santa

MORROW, Ga. — A man dressed as an elf is jailed after police in Georgia say he told a mall Santa that he was carrying dynamite.

Police say Southlake Mall in suburban Atlanta was evacuated but no explosives were found.

Morrow police arrested 45-year-old William C. Caldwell III, who was being held without bond Thursday in the Clayton County jail. He was not part of the mall's Christmas staff.
Police say Caldwell got in line Wednesday evening to have his picture taken with Santa Claus.
Police say when Caldwell reached the front of the line, he told Santa he had dynamite in his bag. Santa called mall security and Caldwell was arrested.

Caldwell faces several charges, including having hoax devices and making terroristic threats.

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Information from: The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, http://www.ajc.com/

Unusual Monuments: Russia

The Mashuk-Akva Term spa in the city of Zheleznovodsk southern Russia recently unveiled a particularly unusual monument. The Enema Monument is a nearly 800 pound bronze statue of a syringe held by three children. This area of the country, near the Caucasus Mountains, is known for its mineral springs, the water of which is used in enemas to treat digestive disorders as well as other ailments.

Good Advice Can Come From Anywhere

Kim Cattrall Has Fallen on Hard Times
Tourist man to girlfriend, pulling out a ring: Will you marry me?
Bag lady, interjecting: Has he made you come yet?
Tourist girlfriend, terrified: Um... no?
Bad lady: Don't marry him 'till he makes you come.

--Central Park

Overheard by: Kari
via Overheard in New York, Oct 17, 2009

Naked News!

Dallas police seek pudgy naked backyard dancer

Thu Oct 8, 3:30 pm ET

DALLAS – Dallas police are looking for a man who they said repeatedly sneaks into backyards, dances around naked and then runs away. Police believe the man has been exposing himself in the same neighborhood since 2005. The most recent incident was on Sept. 30.

Police said he usually climbs a fence or goes through a gate and either dances naked or jumps in a swimming pool naked. Police said he also has danced naked on top of a backyard air conditioning unit.

Police said they're looking for a pudgy man who is about 6 feet tall and covers his face while dancing.

Dallas Police Senior Cpl. Janice Crowther said police want to catch him before it escalates into something worse.

DIRTY NEWS

Trucker flips his rig after masturbating while driving
Published: 24 Sep 09 14:24
CETOnline: http://www.thelocal.se/22272/20090924/

A German trucker suspected of driving under the influence of drugs crashed his vehicle near Borås in western Sweden on Tuesday. He subsequently admitted to masturbating at the time of the accident.
The trucker, apparently unable to reach a satisfactory climax, then proceeded to continue to pleasure himself while in the midst of a police interrogation, according to the local Borås Tidning newspaper.

"He was masturbating while the police interrogated him," police prosecutor Åsa Askenbäck told the newspaper. "He has admitted that he was not paying full attention at the time of the accident. He was playing with himself instead of focusing on the road."

The truck driver was en route from Gothenburg to Borås at around 4am on Tuesday morning. The truck and trailer flipped over when he rammed his vehicle into the central division on route 40 south of Borås.The upturned vehicle blocked all traffic towards Gothenburg and one lane was closed in the direction of Borås.
The man remained in the vehicle with his hands apparently still clasped around his own gear stick and was subsequently arrested for reckless driving and driving while under the influence of drugs.
The suspicions against the man have now been extended to sexual molestation. The German trucker, who is in his thirties, has admitted all of the charges directed against him.

TT/The Local (news@thelocal.se/08 656 6518)

Shhhhhh!

wanna hear a secret?

okay.

I've got a boyfriend!

(I'm as stunned as you are.)

College Football Humor
well, for a University of Texas fan, anyway...

Q: What do the Oklahoma Sooners and marijuana have in common?

A: They both get smoked in Bowls.