Thursday, February 28, 2008

Day 32

I'm home from Houston where I met with the surgeon and a slew of other people. Turns out, I am down now to 46 full pounds off of me, and I can hardly believe it. I mean, that's like four measly pounds away from the big 5-0!

Whoa. The puzzling thing is that, although I look a LITTLE trimmer, a LITTLE less full in the face, a LITTLE flatter in the gut, I'm still as big as a house. I guess I just thought fifty pounds would look more drastic than it does. Merely proves that I've got a long way to go.

Everyone I talked with today was very pleased with my progress, and very complimentary. They all looked delicious.

One week from tonight I will be back in Houston, holing up in a Hawthorn Suite with a buddy, preparing for the procedure the next morning. I wonder if I'll be able to sleep the night before?

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Day 30

Back home from work and the weight management clinic today. I'm happy to report that I dropped anpother 5.8 pounds in the past week, taking me to 37.6 pounds. If you add the 5 that I lost before I started this liquid diet, I am at 42.6. I'm pleased with the progress.

The day after tomorrow I head to Houston for my pre-op surgical consultation where they will weigh me for themselves, I will see the surgeon again, and I will meet with the anesthesiologist. It's a 2 1/2 hour trip to Houston one way, so I'm gonna be BEAT Thursday night by the time I get home.

A buddy has agreed to go with me for the procedure next week, so that someone can drive me back to Austin afterwards. This is a huge relief. I was worried that I would have to drive myself.

The jeans from ten years ago that I kinda had to squeeze into last week are quite comfortable now. I'm even exploring the back of my closet a bit to find more stuff that I can wear now that I couldn't just four weeks ago. The change isn't drastic...this is just the beginning for me...but it sure is sweet.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Sunday Mop Up 2/24/08

Fuck it. I want food, damnit! Look, let me get back to you tomorrow. Right now all I would do is bitch and complain (like I've been doing since the start of this diet).

I'm fine. I can smell your breath from here, and I love you individually and collectively.

Remember to floss.

Friday, February 22, 2008

I Need A Little Help From You

Hi. As I said yesterday, I have managed to destroy my old blog template. I was fooling around trying to delete "jimmy's jukebox" off of it (the creators wanted me to pay for it. fuck no.) and I deleted more than I should have and crashed the whole damn thing. I wasn't paying close attentionto what I was doing. This is a common theme in my life.

So, anyway, I've had to start over with a new template. No biggie, except that I have managed to lose all the IMPORTANT links to all my favorite bloggers (you included) and I am desperate to get those links back. So, here's the deal: If I had you on my blogroll before, would you please be a dear and email me with your blog address? I'll put ya back pronto, now that I've figured out how to do it.

This is important to me. I need to keep up with you all.

For that matter, if I HADN'T blogrolled you, and you would like me to do so, please feel free to send me your addy and I will gladly include you.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Day 23


I just blew my old blog template out of the water. Didn't mean to. Now, there's no turning back. All that busybody crap is GONE. My whole blogroll? friggin' GONE! Jesus, I guess I'll be starting over from scratch.

By the way, lost another 4.8 pounds last week. That puts me at 32.8 for three weeks of liquid dieting, and 37.8 if you count the 5 I lost before I started this.

My surgery is two weeks from tomorrow.

Let the "freaking out" part begin...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Sunday Mop Up 02/17/08

Day 19

Gee. I got nothin. I'm sick of talking about food, or the lack thereof, and I know you are sick of it as well, cuz the hits here have taken a swan dive. It's cool. I don't blame ya.

But, this IS my life. Right now I'm just struggling day to day to remind myself of my goal and what I am trying to accomplish. I am focusing. And that is probably not too interesting to anyone else.

I'm going with my best friend and his wife to see the new U2 concert movie this afternoon. It's at the local IMAX theatre and it is in 3D. I have a soft spot for U2 in my heart, because I saw them back in '81 on their first concert tour and I have enjoyed watching them evolve over the years.

I hope the smell of the popcorn doesn't drive me out of my mind.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Day 18

Are you people still eating FOOD? What? Are you kidding me? Why the fuck are you eating FOOD?!? Don't you know that food is BAD FOR YOU???

What the hell? Ya'll some crazy fuckers!

someone help me? please?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Day 15

Went to the weight loss clinic yesterday and got weighed. I dropped 10.2 pounds last week, That's 28 pounds in fourteen days. Include the five that I dropped before I started the liquid diet, and I've lost a total, to date, of 33 pounds.

As much as I am dying for real food, I am staying on this liquid until my surgery on March 7th.

I'm no Little Ray Of Sunshine right now. And it's not from being hungry, it's about the boredom of the regime.

Anyone want to send me naked pictures of themselves? Help a brother out?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sunday MopUp 02/10/08

It's Sunday and it's time for my weekly housework and I'm stunned to report that there isn't a whole bunch to do these days. Since I've stopped cooking in the house, the clutter and mess have become amazingly easy to manage throughout the week. Reports of biohazard sightings are way down. It's just me and my laundry and since I have to keep busy doing something other than eating during the week, the laundry is getting done surprisingly regularly.

If Oprah Says It, It Must Be True

Saw an Oprah show last week about the clutter in your house being a reflection of the clutter within yourself. There was a fag telling a fat family that in order to lose weight, they needed to clean house first. Now, I have to tell you, some of this spoke to me. Some of it made me roll my eyes, as well, but I do think there is an underlying grain of truth to the concept: your home is an extension of yourself. Organize it first, and you will be better able to organize yourself internally.

I've decided that I've got a MAJOR SpringClean ahead of me. Not that I have a filthy environment, but I have a garage and closets FULL of crap that I never touch and that is taking up space. I'm cutting that shit out of my life.

Good ol' Oprah.


on my diet. Yep. Friday I went to a combination KFC/Long John Silver's and ordered a grilled chicken breast and a fried fish fillet at the drive-thru. Gobbled those motherfuckers down boyeee, while driving in traffic, like a madman. It was a moment of weakness. {shrug} I needed to rebel, I guess. Probably fucked up my metabolism, and therefore my weight loss, for the week.

It aint the end of the world, I'm back on track, and I'm confident of my success going forward.

And Now A Message From Our Sponsor

Friday, February 08, 2008

I Have A DATE!

No, no, no, not a date "date"! I talked with the surgeon's office today and I have a surgical date for my upcoming lap-band procedure!

March 7th!

That is exactly four weeks away. Four weeks for me to scramble to get all my pre-op blood tests and x-rays done, get to Houston once more for another drs. meeting (and meeting with the anesthesiologist), and arrange for a week off from work. AND to get the last five pounds off. That last part should be easy.

I went to the clinic today and jumped on the scale and found that I'm down another pound and a half since last Tuesday. Not much compared to last week, I know. I'm hoping to crank that up to 5 by my next "official" weigh-in on Tuesday.

I'm excited!

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Today Is Day Nine

...and I am considering licking my monitor, because I bet it tastes pretty good...

Why is it that every blog I read today was about food? Ice John is whipping up freaking amazing desserts to celebrate the Chinese New Year, and Sue is making spaghetti pie and posting a picture of a penis potato!

Bastards, you are!

In other news, my teeth have been hurting all day. ALL of them. Started last night. I am convinced that my teeth have commited suicide from lack of anything to chew, and are rotting in my head. The other possibility is that all the weight that I've lost has been in my gums, which are receding into my face, exposing the nerves.

Instead of living solely on the chocolate goo, I now have a few packets of chicken soup. This is a very welcomed change of pace. Turns out, I am a "savory" much more than a "sweet". That I only get 8 ounces of savory at a time is maddening, but I'll live.

There's really nothing much else to report except that I love you, and would eat any one of you if given the chance.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Day Seven: My First Weigh-In

I began this liquid diet on Wednesday, January 30th. Today is Tuesday, February 5th.

In seven days I have lost 17.8 pounds.

I cried. Just a little.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Sunday MopUp 2/03/08

Drinking bitter black coffee (cuz creamer aint allowed on the diet), here I sit at my laptop while laundry is being generated, and the house gets the attention I have with held all week long. This is my Sunday MopUp, and if you get too close to me, I might take a bite out of you. Don't feed the bear.

A Big, Hairy, Gay Sybil

It's Day Five of my liquid diet, and I am teetering on the brink of schizophrenia. There are voices in my head that are amazingly intent on keeping me aware of every passing second without food. It's like time has stood still.

One voice, in particular, is like a short-order cook, calling out orders to the rest of the kitchen. "Roast beef and mashed potatoes!", "Buffalo chicken wings!", "Lasagna and garlic bread!", "Cheese enchiladas with a side of guacamole, extra sour cream!". The stupid part is how it includes even the crappiest of foods. "Chicken McNuggets!", "Long John Silvers' greasy fish filets!", "Anything on the Olive Garden's menu!"...

It just will NOT shut the fuck up.

Look, I don't want to paint a completely bleak picture here. Actually, this program is fairly simple and I'm really not hungry all the time. It's pretty cool to have any and ALL choices taken away from you : you drink a juicebox full of goo every 4 hours and that's that.

What I am seriously stunned about is how MUCH time and energy I spend THINKING about food. As a man, I know I've been told that I think about sex every twenty seconds. Well, as a fat guy, I am thinking about food at least every ten!

I'm also seeing how food is my drug of choice to self-medicate and comfort me for EVERYthing.

I'm happy : Let's Eat!
I'm sad : Let's Eat!
I'm angry : Let's Eat!
I'm stressed : Let's Eat!
I'm bored : Let's Eat!
I'm horny : Let's Eat!
Hey, that sex was awesome! : Let's Eat!
I finished doing my taxes : Let's Eat!

Filling that big, black hole in my soul that I've stuffed food into all these years is going to be a HUGE challenge. Finding a way to reward myself that does not involve eating stuff probably sounds simple to all you skinny asses out there. Trust me, this is a mountain.

Just want you to know that, as a person who is familiar (all too well) with 12-step programs, I am fully aware that this food addiction will need to be treated the same way as any other addiction. Part of the weight loss program I am in requires attendance at group therapy sessions. But I am also considering attending some OA (Overeaters Anonymous) meetings. Might be a good way to fill some time on the weekends.

[ There was a time in my life that I considered attending Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings. Well, until I realized that my real motivation was to cruise the room. I decided to stay away.]

Once I have the surgery, I will resume seeing my former therapist, a man I love named Tucker (is that a great name, or what?), who helped me when I was having a nervous breakdown from leading a double-life as a closeted gay man.

Super Bowel Sunday

Let's just say that the biggest problem I am having today is with my digestive tract. You KNOW I had to get gross at some point in this post, right?

'Nuff said.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Greetings From Day Three!

"Hi! Nice to see you again! Yes, it's been a long time! Me? Not much. Yes, in fact I have lost a little weight, thanks for noticing. Well, I'm on a special's no big deal...

So how have you been? You look terrific in that skirt! Did you have chinese for lunch? Yes, I can smell the soy sauce. No, it smells GREAT. How was the sesame chicken? Oh, I just guessed, I guess...and the baby bok choy in garlic sauce must have been wonderful. No, I can just tell these things! Don't you just love the mint in the spring rolls? Gotta LOVE that peanut sauce!

No, I wasn't there! Don't freak out on me, it's nothing to freak out about. Man, you smell delicious! Nice nails, by the way. Mind if I take a whiff of your fingers?

Wait, are you leaving? Nice to see you again! Can I sniff your blouse once more before you go? Hey? Hey! Call me! We'll do lunch!"