Sunday Mop Up 10/28/07

Yes, I haven't blogged in, like, forever. But I'm here now so strap it on, lube it up, and point it at someone you love 'cuz it's that special day of the week! Let the Mop Up begin, babies!

I'm Always The Last To Know

Did you know that the darker the roast of the coffee bean, the less caffeine? It's true.

While out buying a new batch of whole coffee beans for my beloved morning cuppa, I was schooled on this by the salespunk at Starbucks. See, I had been buying the more expensive, darker roast beans all this time, gladly shelling out the extra money for what I thought was more of a kickstart to my central nervous system in the morning. Turns out, for a lot less money, I can buy Kenyan beans (not as darkly roasted AND nearly 30% cheaper than what I had been buying) and the additional caffeination (is that a word?) is completely apparent. For example, I am only halfway through my first cup/mug/bucket so far and all ready my nipples could cut glass. It's a good sign.

Well, maybe the house is a little cooler than usual. That could account for it as well, but I'm sticking to my first hypothesis.

So,the lesson is : the roasting process actually burns off some of the caffeine in coffee. The longer it is roasted, the less is contained. Duly noted. Thanks, salespunk!

Hallowed Weenies

Long-term readers of this blog know how I feel about Halloween. By the way, "long-term readers" don't exist here, and I friggin' KNOW it, okay? Please, just humor me and read along.

Halloween is a holiday that belongs, in MY humble opinion, to CHILDREN. Yes, I am well aware of this "history" of this day and the "SO not about children!" aspect to it, but we have evolved as a culture and society now and this holiday should now belong only to children. Because adults have turned it into an excuse to be drunk, sick, and stupid - all while dressing up in very uncreative and largely pathetic costumes.

I'm not into "dress up". I'm not into drinking. I'm not into proving what a moron I am (although I still manage it frequently).

My disdain for this holiday can be traced directly to my life as a bouncer many years ago. Drunk people suck bad enough on any usual day of the week, but add to it the capability of hiding some prop within their costume to use on you as you try to escort them out of the door at closing time? I fucking hated working two days of the year at the bars: Halloween and New Year's Eve.

And, for what it is worth, I maintain that Halloween is the perfect excuse for many "straight" men who are confused about their sexual orientation to dress up in drag and not be considered a transvestite. If you have any male friends who, year after year, wear makeup and pantyhose on Halloween, it's time you sat them down and had a little talk. "Oh, you're Courtney Love AGAIN this year, Bob? How interesting!"

My guess on a popular costume this year -at least for us fags? Senator Larry Craig in a restroom stall. How CLEVER (cue: eyeroll)!

Now, 'scuse me while I go pour a second bucket of coffee. Be right back...

And, Finally...

I've recently gotten news that a guy who I've chatted with online for several years now, just lost his life partner of 12 years earlier this month. Gay men living together for 12 years in a committed relationship? How NOT married is that!?!

Tony is a wonderfully sweet, tubby gay guy who, although partnered with the older Guido for lo these many years, found his sexy butt on several "bear smut" magazines. Yet, the love they had for each other, Tony and Guido, was never a question.

Well, Tony has posted a little memorial to Guido on his LiveJournal page, and I thought I would share it here. If you are disgusted and repulsed at the sight/thought of two grown men loving each other, don't bother playing the link. I found it touching and sweet and makes me wonder why anyone would object to the concept of two adult human beings wanting to honor and commit to each other before the eyes of God and their community in the sanctity of a vow of marriage?

Love is Love, people.

http://view.break.com/387753 - Watch more free videos

Meet Sean Astin!


I'm doing this for the benefit of Dick Small, who claims on his blogsite that he doesn't know who this hot hunk of thespianism is.

He was Samwise in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, he was Rudy in the movie "Rudy" (a football movie). He was a cute little geek with a lisp in the movie "Goonies" way back when. He is the son of Patty Duke and John Astin (remember Gomez in the tv show "The Addams Family?). Hell, he was in "Encino Man" with Brendan Frasier and Pauly Shore. REMEMBER? Come ON!

Yep.

He is Patty Duke's best work EVER!

Okay, maybe I just like lookin' at him.

Blown Outta The Water


Look, I just spent an hour and a half writing a post, and Blogger chose to eat its ass out and now it is nowhere to be seen.

Didn't even autosave it, like it claims it does.

I'm now in a foul mood and uninterested in rebuilding the little gem of a post that I had constructed.

Screw it. I'll try again another time.

Highlights:

Lisa is doing fine, but has a connection issue with the appliance (?). It's gonna take some time to get it figured out.

I got told by a punk/thug at MacDonald's to drive away from the drive thru, because he "doesn't give a fuck". I'm meeting with the store manager on Monday to discuss said punk's big, stupid mouth.

I loathe teenagers.

Jimmy's jukebox is freshly loaded with some new stuff, including the most sick and twisted co-dependent love song ever written in the 60s. I've included the original and a badass cover version.

That's all I can manage for now.

Post-Surgery Update!

This just in from Sister Central:

Lisa (yes, that is her name) goes to the doctor THIS FRIDAY to have her implant powered up and programmed. The family isn't sure what to expect, but we are very excited and feel so amazingly blessed that our family member is getting this chance that she has dreamed about her entire life.

I hold my arms upward toward the sky and feel The Universe hold me in Its embrace.

I'll keep ya posted, my friends!

Friday Food Finds!

Was at the convenience store yesterday and saw a big display of this:

I'm not EVEN kidding. As if tomato juice isn't disgusting enough of its own, some genius paired it with clam juice WAY back when just to up the gross factor. And now THIS! Someone in Anheuser-Bush's marketing department needs to stop dropping acid. I literally shrieked when I saw this stuff on display.

"They say it's like a Bloody Mary," the cashier told me.

"More like a Dry Heave Hannah!" I replied.

Let's see what the judges have to say:

Can't say I'm surprised...

Also, while researching the above atrocity on the web, I came across this little beverage sold in Japan:

Yum! Cucumber flavored Pepsi! Not kidding, it's sold in Japan. Let's go to the judges again...

Well, that's unfortunate. I thought it might be the perfect accompaniment with sushi. Back to the drawing board, buddies!

And, finally, there's a pepper sauce from Ghana that seems to be quite popular in that part of the world:

Be sure and ask for it by name!

Okay, I'm outta here. Have a great weekend!

Welcome To the Hotel Oklahomo!

I guess I should save this posting for Field Trip Friday, but I've never been good at following the lead of others.

Here's the gay resort/motel/compound I stayed a night at on my way back from Missouri. Click the pic to enter and take the tour.

Warning: Staring at the pictures too long and/or experiencing Resort Envy may mean you are "family", if ya know what I mean.

P.O.'d !

Oh, how sweet! I'm nowhere to be seen for over a week, and none other than that dear "Ravn" is the sole blogbuddy who asks where I am and what has happened! Thank you for your concern, Ravn, and trust me when I say that you are my FAVORITE (insert a nasty look here over to Dick Small's direction)!

I spent 45 minutes at the Post Office today trying to retrieve all the mail I had on hold while gone. Would someone explain to me again why we don't privatize the Post Office? Jesus, I've never seen so many rounded shoulders and dead eyes and lifeless shuffles and "fuck you" attitudes! I could feel my blood pressure spiking as I watched those governmental zombies stumble through the Hell they call "work". I wanted to scream "Lick a stamp and lick my fucking ass, for GOD'S sake!" I'm gonna buy stamp software at some point, so I don't ever have to set foot in that crypt again.

It kinda ruined my day, truth be told. Anyhoo...

Yes, I've been back home for several days now and have been very neglectful in posting. Let me catch you up:

Sister is doing very well. The hospital where the surgery was performed is a "teaching" hospital, so things went slowly as every med student who could get in on some of the action - did! I'm not kidding. The poor girl had three separate anaesthesiologists (I nearly slipped into a coma just trying to spell that friggin' word), three nursologists, a head surgologist and two -ologists that I still have no idea what their function was.

They had to drill a hole in her skull. Behind her right ear. It's where the wire goes that stimulates the nerves in the middle ear. A hole in her skull. Fuckola!

Her rough and tumble husband was kind of in a bewildered fog of anxiety during the surgery. I was glad I was there. He lost her bag of personal belongings at one point. I found them in the cafeteria. He couldn't get any staff to give him any progress reports. I flagged down a nurse and stood in her path until I got answers. When Sis got out of surgery and into Recovery, I could tell she was still in an inordinate amount of pain. I insisted she get more drugs. I did a lot of eye to eye contact with staff and spoke very measured and calmly and slowly. They responded to my requests quickly.

Look, I know this isn't about me, I'm just saying I think I helped, okay?

She was scheduled for surgery at 9:30AM...she didn't get into surgery until noon. We didn't get to see her until nearly 5PM. We finally got her packed up and into the car, bound for home, by 7pm. When we all got home, EVERYone was wiped out.

A day later, her husband had kicked into "caregiver" mode very well. Even my niece was being helpful. Sis, however, was distracted by my presence, and WAY too worried about how I was, whether I had enough to eat...did I sleep okay, and so on. I decided I needed to leave so that she would concentrate on herself and stop trying to be the good hostess.

So, my work was done and I bolted.

I check in on her online regularly. The hole in her middle ear has caused balance issues, but that was expected. She will spend the next four weeks healing before they get in and turn the implant on and program the chip. That's when we find out if it will help her hear again.

Remind me to tell you about the gay motel/resort that I stayed at on the way back to Texas. Yup, a gay resort. In Oklahomo City. Too funny.

I Curse, Therefore I Am Awake

Seriously, how do so many of you regularly get up at this time of day, and not KILL everyone you encounter?

Holy shit!