It's Funny, So You Know I Didn't Write It
(something I lifted off the internet)

CANDIDATE 1: I'm happy to be here tonight.
CANDIDATE 2: I am, too.
CANDIDATE 1: You shouldn't be.
CANDIDATE 2: Why not?
CANDIDATE 1: Because you shouldn't be agreeing with me. Didn't you see that in the manual?
CANDIDATE 2: Manual?
CANDIDATE 1: You know: little yellow book, about this big, says "Top Secret" on the front. Maybe only I got one.
CANDIDATE 2: I don't know. But what's your point? I shouldn't be happy to be here?
CANDIDATE 1: You should be arguing.
CANDIDATE 2: I will be.
CANDIDATE 1: But you agreed with me. You should be arguing so that the people listening to us have a clear choice.
CANDIDATE 2: Okay. Let's argue.
CANDIDATE 1: No! You're agreeing with me again, only this time it's about arguing. That's kind of a paradox, isn't it? It's like seeing Russia from Russia.
CANDIDATE 2: It's nothing like seeing Russia from Russia. And that's not a paradox, anyway. It's a tautology.
CANDIDATE 1: But a paradox is a paradox.
CANDIDATE 2: That's a tautology, too.
CANDIDATE 1: So a paradox is a paradox is a tautology, which means that a paradox is a tautology.
CANDIDATE 2: It doesn't mean that.
CANDIDATE 1: So you disagree with me that it's a paradox?
CANDIDATE 2: I disagree, yes.
CANDIDATE 1: I think we're on the same page now.
[Both bow.]