Saturday, October 28, 2006

Lack Of Vocabulary Or Tourette's Syndrome?

It has been pointed out to me that I'm pretty free and easy with the salty language around here. In fact, I've been accused of laziness in my writing for so quickly reverting to swearing instead of attempting to convey an idea with a more judicious choice of less-offensive descriptive words. Fuck that!

Well, maybe I should try to explain why I choose to write the way that I do, using the language that I do. Okay? Bear with me, then. Here we go:

The Rationalization

First of all, I'm not a very good writer. I lack the discipline and the brain power needed to write in an articulate, cohesive manner. I took one of those personality tests at one point in my life, and I'm a Feeler, not a Thinker. I use the language that I do here to communicate my emotions, rather than my thoughts. Because, let's face it, my thoughts tend to be half-assed incomplete. If I can share with you how I am feeling on any given day, I'm much more satisfied than whether I am concise and thorough in following any particular train of thought. Coarse language allows me to express anger, surprise, sexuality, vulgarity, and happiness with an easy-to-understand and direct emphasis.

Secondly, I am striving to write in a conversational tone here. I want what you read to sound to you like I'm speaking to you like friends on the phone, or over a cup of coffee. This is for two reasons - a) I'm a people pleaser and it's terribly important to me that you like me and want to be my friend, and b) I'm hopeful that, if you're heterosexual and uncomfortable with homosexuals, you might have found a gay perspective that makes you laugh enough that you can let your guard down a bit and maybe relate, in some way. Which leads to my third point...

The Third Point: cuss words are funny. Well, sometimes. If you don't go overboard. I know. I go overboard occasionally. But, HEY, this is tame compared to the rantings and ravings of SOME bloggers out here (not that I'm pointing fingers, I just sayin' is all- I love you, Laurie!).

Also, I'd like to mention that I consider myself a Spiritual kinda person. I've never felt more connected and tuned in to my relationship with God in my whole life. I happen to know that my Higher Power has spoken to me in some pretty crude ways.

"No shit kidding!" sayeth God.

Finally, I write this way because this is who I am and how I talk. Sure, I don't drop the f-bomb at work like I do here, but I also don't fart in my cubicle do other socially unacceptable things in a formal environment that I would do here.

Aren't you suddenly glad that blogs aren't smellable?

So, if my choice of verbage has offended you here, I'm truly sorry. I doubt that I can change, or that I want to.


Anonymous said...

Don't you dare change the way you write. I love reading your blogs and I think you have a lovely turn of phrase, though being English, sometimes I don't get some of your cultural references. Keep writing and cheering me up in London!!

Anonymous said...

i told u u have a potty mouth lol

Laurie said...

Shit, fool! Don't you DARE apologize for what YOU write on YOUR blog!

Fuck the haters!!!

Ooops...can I cuss here?