Sunday Mop Up 10/22/06

Hi. Jim here. How are ya? Hope you are well. Me? Balls to the wall. Here's a little run-down of things I've been thinking about this week, but didn't have the time (or energy) to post:

Gas Prices

I got really excited this week when I found gas at $1.99 a gallon. Seriously excited. I mean, remember that SNL commercial about the luxury car that you could, you know, hump? Well, fortunately, I wasn't tall enough to make that work cuz, you know, the gas tank hole-thingy is pretty high up the side of the truck. But still, I was pretty turned on. Two dollar a gallon gas is significant in my world. Earlier this year, when gas hovered around 3 dollars a gallon, it cost me a little over 65 bucks to fill my tank. I do this at least three times a month. At 2 dollars, it costs me just a smidge over 45 bucks to fill up. Saving twenty bucks a fill up saves me 60 bucks a month. That, my friends, is cabbage not to be scoffed at. That is leafy green that can be used in other meaningful ways.

But, after the initial giddy goofiness passed, I started asking myself some questions. Like: How can gas prices fall by an entire third and it not devastate the oil industry? Why aren't we hearing about oil companies worried about lay offs and economic disaster? How can an industry survive when it's product's price has been slashed by 33%? Could this be proof that gas prices have been artifically high? That we, as consumers, have been milked and suckered and fucking robbed? And, why are prices NOW dropping? Has demand dropped that significantly? Did gas prices fall like this last year? Am I reacting like a Conspiracy Freak when I am suspect of the timing of this trend right before a major election?

Look, as long as our government remains controlled by Republicans, Big Business can do whatever the fuck they want. Conservatives treat Capitalism like a religion, which makes Corporate America the clergy. "De-regulation" is one of the Ten Commandments. "Market Forces" is the new "Holy Spirit".The problem with that is that it has all become corrupted. I believe that the oil industry has a vested interest in keeping Republicans in control of the country. So, they are backing off of their rape and pillage business model until after the elections.
A vote against the Republicans this election is, really, a vote opposing the gluttony, greed, and arrogance of Wall Street and the Board Room.

There is more to America than the Almighty Dollar. Government has a duty to watch, protect, and serve.

Are you being served, or patronized and toyed with?

Please vote in November.

Homophobia

Dear Straight Guys,

Don't be afraid of us. No need to hate us, either. Accepting that there are people out in the world that like to do things sexually that you wouldn't do in a million years does not make YOU gay. Frankly, some of the shit that you are into makes some of us scratch our heads as well. It's all good. Do you obsess all day long about what kind of sex your other straight friends are having with their wives? Of course not. Then, quit obsessing on what gay consenting adults do with and to each other. You know, if sucking cock is so shameful, tell your girlfriend/wife/mother/sister to knock it off as well, okay?

And, for that matter, get OVER the idea that some gay guy is looking at you and thinks you're hot. Cuz, you're probably not, and that's probably not what the gay guy is thinking. But if he is thinking that and he does look at you like that?... it's a compliment, you fucktard! Chances are, you pull the same shit on women at your office all day long. How does it feel to be sexually objectified? That's right, you can be sextoy eyecandy and there's not a damned thing you can do about it. Deal with it. If one of us gropes, fondles, or caresses you, feel free to go ballistic. Kick the ass of ANYone who makes unwanted physical advances on you, and doesn't take "no", or "no way", or "back off!" as an answer. But, until then, shut the fuck up.

Late Edition Addition: Thanks, by the way, for inseminating women and keeping the planet populated. Mad props for that!

Halloween

It's a shame that my favorite month of the year is host to the holiday I dislike the most. Halloween was ruined for me when I was a bouncer in my 20's (that was in the 80's, folks) in several straight bars that featured live bands .Yes, Halloween is a drunken clusterfuck of idiots who feel it is their God-given right to drink and drive, drink and hit on women they don't stand a chance with, drink and fight, and drink and puke in public.

One thing that made Halloween worse than any other drunk, stupid amateur-drinking holiday (say, for example, New Year's Eve) is the costumes. The lack of imagination in this area by the general public is truly horrifying to many a card carrying fag. Watch closely this year: count how many pathetic Captain Jack Sparrows you see. Then, mock them to their faces. Please. Also, keep an eye out for the dork who is dressed up as a feminine sanitary napkin or tampon. That fucker is NOT to be trusted. By anyone.

I also think Halloween is the night that men who long to dress in women's clothing are given a free pass. You aren't called a "tranvestite" on Halloween, and there are LOTS of guys, gay and straight, who have figured that out.

But, costume selection aside, the most dangerous aspect of Halloween to a bouncer is the acoutrement, or props, that accompany the costumes. I have seen light sabers, feather boas, and turkey legs all become WMDs in the hands of drunk morons.

And yet, beyond that, the real reason I have no patience with Halloween is because I feel this is a CHILDREN'S holiday. This is a holiday that we adults have robbed kids of and co-opted for ourselves. Magic and horror and fantasy and tricks and treats: this is a holiday to celebrate youthful naivete, imagination, pranksterism, and chaos. - THEIR chaos, not OURS. Our chaos fills up the calendar all year long. This is a holiday about kids eating sugar until they get sick, not you drinking until you blow chunks.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have no objection to costume parties. I have no objection to adults imbibing in alcoholic beverages. Trust me, most weekends in most gay bars in most metropolitan cities are Halloween anyway. I've seen Itchy do Scratchy in a dark corner of a club, witnessed Hagrid molest Gollum (and no costumes were involved - not for the faint of heart!). No big deal. Just not my cup o' tea, thanks. I'd rather be around a bunch of little kids, eyes wide at the prospect of roaming door to door in the neighborhood, collecting a stash of candy that, if planned carefully, could last until Thanksgiving!

If you are going out to the bars this year, please be careful. And, give the bouncer a break, huh?