Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunday Mop Up 11/05/06

Howdy Buddies and Buddettes! I hope your weekend is going well. Do yourself a favor and give your nipples a tug at some point today. ...just a suggestion...I'm only tryin' to help. Okay, let's get to it:


Election Day

Tuesday is Election Day. I know most of the people who care about this kinda stuff have already gone out and voted early, which I commend. But if you haven't voted yet, I'd like to do what I can to motivate you to get your butt OFF the sofa on Tuesday and find your way to your precinct and cast your ballot. The fact that voter turnout in this country (ESPECIALLY in non-presidential elections) is as low as it is, should fill each and every one of us with Shame. If the system really IS broken, this is where the problem starts. So, with that in mind, I'd like to drop a video on you.


Freedom



Sure, this election isn't a presidential election. But it IS a chance for us to voice our opinion about the direction of this administration.

PLEASE vote!

Technical Difficulty: There is nearly two minutes of black at the end of the video clip. This isn't my fault, and I can't seem to be able to edit it out. Sorry.

The Aflak Caffeine Scoreboard: Jim is on his 2nd bucket of coffee. Moving On:

Pillow Talk

Okay, admittedly I am deep in the throes of housework today, but I have a question for you: How clean are the pillows on your bed?

I ask this because I was stripping my own bed this morning when I glanced at the pillows I had just de-nuded and tossed back on the mattresses and I realized that I hadn't seriously laundered those fuckers in several months. Oh, don't get me wrong, the pillowcases get bleached to Hell and back weekly, but the pillows themselves? I have two king size pillows that are in pillow covers, little zip-up bitches that protect the pillow (I suppose), but two regular pillows that are unprotected. Just my drooling, crusty, greasy face, a flimsy pillowcase, and a foam pillow that soaks up Jimmy Drippings like a sponge. And I think I'm being clean by washing the pathetic pillowcase?!? I bury my head into these things, and baste my face every night! What the hell am I thinking?

The coffee is kicking in now at the same time that I am grossing myself the fuck OUT.

I remember seeing an Oprah show where Ms. Winfrey-Thang was interviewing a cleanliness expert. This guy, a scientist, maintained that we should all buy brand new pillows at least once a year. He scoffed at spending big bucks for fancy pillows. Keep them simple, cheap, and CLEAN, he said.

My pillows are being super-bleached at this very moment. I will get my ass to Bed, Bath, and Beyonce this week to replace the little incubators.

All right, that's it for now. I've managed to seriously creep myself out, so I'm headed to the shower to stand in scalding streams and scrub and scrub and fucking scrub.

Be well, and don't forget about your nipples.

2 comments:

TheChubbyAvenger said...

I love your blog entries. I really enjoyed the youtube video. It really packs a punch.

Anonymous said...

Hi Uncle Jimmy! Just thought I'd say hi to you and everything because I really miss ya and I'm excited that you're coming down here for Thanksgiving! Just thought I'd let you know that your blog entries crack me up so bad! I love them! You are too funny! :D Love ya!!

Your FAVORITE (I better be) Niece-
Stephanie :D