"Dear Loser (Chris)..."

You have to hear this, a heartfelt break-up letter from one raging pre-teen/tween to one sadsack of a guy named Chris. Crank up your speakers and savor the dramatic reading of pure female hormones UNLEASHED!

Big thanks to Automatic Daddy for finding/sharing this little gem!

In Personal News: I'm very busy at work. I have no time for you. Love you. Call me. Mean it. Buh-Bye.

Let's Start Monday Off With A Bang!

click it to get in there good!

thanks to Joe.My.God for the laugh

In Other News:

My neck feels a little better. Not a lot. But let's call it progress.

Chickwreck

Just think : one awful accident could have dealt with them all...

and, no, I'm not proud of myself for feeling this way

"For All Those Born Beneath An Angry Star..."


I guess it's pretty weak of me to be all worried about a simple cortizone injection into my neck, especially when I know there are amazing people out there in the world who are grappling with life-threatening illnesses.

My procedure is at 11am tomorrow, and I will be fine. And I will think upon those who are facing SO much more, like their mortality, with Dignity and Grace. And their Courage will calm me and remind me of my blessings.

"...Lest we forget how fragile we are."

*"Fragile"- Sting

Long Day's Journey Into Neck

Well, it took all day, but I finally saw the "pain management" doctor. The appointment was for 3:30pm. I signed in at 2:55pm and began signing my life away on paperwork that was WAY more complicated than the stuff I signed when I closed on my townhouse. And, by the way, what's up with having to repeat information several times in the same bundle of papers? Like, how many friggin' different times was I asked who referred me to this place?

I was done with the paperwork at 3:25. I know 'cuz I checked the clock. I saw the doctor at 5:35pm.

Seething, I was.

When I finally met the man, I was pretty growl-y. He apologized profusely. Then, when he began examining me, I realized that he reminded me of someone. He had a Jeremy Piven/Ari Gold thing goin' on. He was funny, a fast talker, kinda sarcastic and completely on his game. Short buzzed hair, 5 days growth on his beard, chunky, short, in his mid-thirties, and personality in spades. A cocky smartass cub who would mature into a fine bear some day. A smart, smart guy who looked me in the eye and told me he wanted to make me feel better, and was going to do anything he could to make that happen.

I had to smile. And fantasize.

We decided, together, that Dr. Cubby McEntourage would be stuffing an epidural needle full of steroids into my neck some time on Friday. Time to be determined tomorrow, because by this time most of his staff had gone home for the day. It'll be a series of THREE shots, spaced two weeks apart. Then, he wrote me a script for Celebrex and some kinda muscle relaxer for in the meantime and sent me on my way.

I'm still smiling because I get to see him three more times in the next six weeks. I'm finally back in a LTR. I can't WAIT to tell my mother that I'm dating a doctor!

Shut up.

Doctor Doctor, Give Me The News...

I've finally got an appointment set for my neck/shoulder/clavicle/first rib issue. I see a "pain management" doctor tomorrow at 3:30pm. It's just the 'consultation", but the chickie-poo I set the appointment with assured me that there was space available in the week for an apointment for "injections", if needed.

And, again, I totally visualize someone sticking a huge-ass steel needle into my neck, wedging it between two vertebrae, the cracking and popping sounds of flesh and bone meeting metal, and I can feel myself start to faint. jimmycity is really just jimmybabygirl when it comes to medical stuff.

I'll do it, though. I want my neck back.

I Never Said I Was In Virginia!

-but, screw it, I finally overheard something funny enough to submit to one of my FAVORITE blogs! Check ME out, and if this doesn't make sense out of context, check the blog out, OverHeard In New York and its whole related family (you'll find this submission in "Overheard Everywhere")!

And, for what it's worth, I have a sister who lives in Virginia, but she wasn't involved in any way.


Did He Use a Condom?
Sweaty black girl #1, checking self out in mirror: Finally, my upper arms don't look so arm-y!
Sweaty black girl #2, lifting weights: Yeah, but your coochie still smells all marine.

YMCA
Virginia

Overheard by: jimmycity

via Overheard Everywhere, Jul 13, 2007

Change Of Heart

Okay, so I went to the gym tonight anyways. Just told myself to stop whining, stfu and go. I mean, my bag was packed and in the truck, waiting. Only rode the bike for 20 minutes, and then did my weight training. So, it was a light workout, but it counts. And I'm glad I went.

Doctor tomorrow. Hope we can figure this shoulder thing out. We'll see...

I'm Hurting

I'll be seeing my doctor tomorrow morning to discuss what in the hell is going on with my left arm/shoulder/first rib/clavicle.

Every morning, around 11am, I get searing pain that radiates up my neck, across my shoulder and down my arm. This lasts about 30 minutes and then is gone. The "searing pain" part, that is. My range of motion with the arm is just plain pathetic. Any old time. Been this way for years.

I know what it's from, it's from a bowling accident I had. I'm serious. Me, The X, a few white russians after seeing "The Big Lebowski" back in the winter of '99, was it? I launched myself down the bowling alley having not bowled in 20-some years and landed on my left shoulder. I've had an MRI on the shoulder and been sent to physical therapy a year ago. The therapist said I managed to screw up my first rib. I was going to look deeper into the issue last winter, and my freaking LEG exploded. Remember? Kinda got sidetracked.

The leg is no longer an excuse, and the arm/shoulder/yada-yada-ya is impacting my workout routine. I need some resolution here!

"Whatever It Takes" is my new mantra. Chiropractor, accupuncture, colonics : I don't care.

I've really been hurting lately. It might have something to do with my new bed and the insanely firm mattress I decided to buy. I don't know. But, I am marching my tanned and muscled, yet still strangely fat butt to the doctor tomorrow to find out what I can do about this.

I'm not gonna work out tonight, either. Screw it, I HURT, damnit!

Fasting blood sugar this morning : 105

The Land Of The Free

Hope you had a nice Fourth Of July! Since the holiday fell on Wednesday this year, and since Wednesday is a free-day from the gym, I was a total slug.

Went to see "Ratatouille" and avoided the fireworks displays. LOVED the movie. Wonderful message about accepting yourself for who you are.

I'll be taking off for the gym here momentarily. I'm home today, took Thursday and Friday as vacation time, so I have this deliciously long "weekend" ahead of me. Don't hate.

Ya know, I couldn't help but think about the whole thing with Bush giving Libby a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card while listening to the media remind us what this holiday is about, all day yesterday.

Cynical, table for one!

I love this country. I'm proud to be an American. But I am sick of what our government has turned into (and I'm including Democrats here, too) : Fat Cat Elitist/Whores who are controlled by Corporate Pimps and Self-Interest and who condescend to the very electorate that empowered them.

For as fucked up and righteous as the Republicans are, I see no sign of any attitudinal difference with the Democrats. For the sake of this country, I think we need to revamp the system. Purge Washington of these political careerists. Term limits for Congress. Serious pay motherfucking cuts for bureaucrats. Corporate America is a pitbull that needs muzzled before it not only BITES the hand that feeds, but wants to rip the arm off.

Did you worry a little bit about this country, give it some thought, over the holiday?

I Saw This Movie On Sunday

Small and absolutely charming. Beautiful music and the tiniest of plot. Full of warmth and heart.

Next on the list: Ratatouille

This Is My Life

I work Monday through Friday at my job. I work out at the gym 5 days a week. I sweat like a pig. I eat like I'm starving. I'm gay and alone and I'm lonely. I make jokes about it.

If you are reading this, chances are that I wish I knew you. I bet I'd like you.

I'm not kidding about the sweating part. Jesus!