Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Why I Haven't Mentioned The Lap-Band Lately

I was all stoked to go to Houston on April 11th and get my first " fill" in my lap-band, right? I was pretty excited, because I was under the impression that I would go, the band would be filled, therefore the pouch would be created, and I would be on my way to a highly restrictive diet.

Well, it doesn't work that way.

Turns out I took the entire day off of work, drove 3 hours to Houston (using about 75 bucks of gasoline there and back), paid for parking, paid for an office visit, only to find out that this "first fill" was just that: the initial INCREMENTAL injection of saline into the band. My band holds 14cc's of saline, people. Care to guess how much they filled the band?

3 cc's.

I have to go BACK to Houston on May 15th and get another "fill" of a few more cc's. This process could take anothe couple of MONTHS!


See, since no one can actually SEE into my stomach to see what is going on, the doctor fills the band little by little. With each fill, the stomach swells a little bit in response, and they don't want to over-inflate the thing and accidentally cut off any chance of ANYthing from passing.

So, right now, I don't even HAVE the "pouch" yet. I've got a shelf. When I eat, I can feel the food hit the backboard and drop into the bucket (it's a basketball metaphor, kids). Which, by the way, feels freaky. But, look, I'm not getting the sensation of feeling "full" when I eat a half cup of stuff. My appetite is not being supressed at ALL right now.

So, I'm not happy about it, and I feel like I've put on a bunch of weight (which I haven't). So, I've decided to go BACK on the liquid diet, and maybe have a little bit of real food now and then, until the next fill.

And THAT'S why I haven't been writing about it. I'm annoyed with the process.

Remind me to tell you about what puking up food is like with this thing sometime. Yes, it has happened.


Sue said...

Oh my.

Even though I love you (you know I do) I cannot wait to hear about the puking.

I can't help it.

I'm interested.

Now vote for me and I'll tell you a story.




jimmycity said...

I done did, dude.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

Driving a tank or my mom's cat's psychic?

jimmycity said...

Oh, man! You KNOW I want both! Well, since it sounds all butch 'n stuff, I'll take "Driving A Tank" for 200, Alex.

Bigg said...

Wow, Jimmy. I'm pretty much on a "whole liquids" diet right now because of my surgery, and it SUCKS. I can't imagine the kind of fortitude it must take to do that voluntarily.

Grant Miller said...

Eesh. I hope things turn around for you.

Ice John's World said...

Jimmy, really sorry to hear that the process has to last longer than you expected. But it is careful than sorry, right? Just think about the final good result!

Dick Small said...

Cheer up, Jim! You'll come through this JUST fine!

Mel said...

So sorry about all this! I cant imagine what this must be like. I am not good at waiting for anything but I am sure it will get better soon. Hopefully before gas gets up to 5 a gallon!