Sunday, January 21, 2007

Sunday Mop Up 01/21/07

Greetings to all you boners and bonnets out there. It's Sunday morning, the sun is actually OUT and the weather people are predicting temps well into the 60s today. The reptilian part of my brain makes me want to find a nice, big rock to crawl up on and just soak up the warmth. Instead, I shall focus on civilizing Casa del Jimbo while concurrently catching you up with all matters within jimmycity limits. Sit back, take your pants off and get comfortable, whilst I mop the place up a bit.

My Mission This Weekend

is to find myself a new bed. I am presently sleeping on a mattress set that I bought seven years ago for $400.00. At the time, it was all I could afford, and was amazed that I was spending SO MUCH money on a bed. The only thing I required back then was that the box spring foundation be a metal frame. 'Cuz I'm a big guy and all. This was the cheapest set I could find with a steel frame foundation, so I bought it.

Well, I'm older now, and I have more needs. I have now experienced a "Heavenly Bed", and numerous other pillowtop high quality mattresses. The shit I'm sleeping on now just isn't cutting it any longer. The paper is filled with mattress stores advertizing huge sales, so yesterday I went out shopping.

Buying a car is less confusing than buying a new mattress. How many springs? Individually pocketed (wrapped)? Gauge of steel in said spring? Latex foam or that space agey memory foam? Pillowtop or plush? Add to that, a manufacturer will make one model, but the various vendors that sell it will call it anything they want.You can't comparison shop worth a shit with these things.

Simmons, maker of the "Heavenly Bed" (featured in Westin Hotels), has come out with a new line this year called "Black". Top of the line. I laid down on one in a showroom yesterday, and had to crawl off of it before I ejaculated all over the floor model. Fucking awesome! They want $1600.00 for this bitch. What? Are you kidding me? Really? No shit, sixteen HUNDRED? Come on, that's crazy! You said sixteen, right?

I was working the salesman's last nerve, I could tell.

After inquiring if I could just sleep there, at the store, at night, I left. The salesman has my phone number and a limit for how much I can spend. Which is a THOUSAND BUCKS, people! For that kinda money, the bed should pop me out in the morning like a piece of toast, a la George Jetson.

So, I'll be back at it, hunting for a bed today.

Washed My Shoes,

my beloved Reebok DMX's, in the washing machine the other day. Let's just say things were getting funky. Well, the washing part wasn't a problem. Heavy duty soap + heavy duty bleach = Funk no more.When I went to put them in the dryer and start it up, it sounded like I was trying to launder bricks. Whoa. So, I grabbed a comforter and stuffed it into the dryer along with the shoes. It helped, a bit. But every 7 - 9 minutes, a shoe would kick into the dryer door, opening it and stopping the dryer. I was running my ass ragged going up and down the stairs to restart the stupid thing. It became funny, like my shoes were trying desperately to escape. I finally gave up.

They are sitting out, on the patio, basking like lizards in the warm sunshine today.

A Realization About What Works For Me, Porn-Wise

I've always made it a point to not put graphic images on my blog, so I'm going to hide an example of what interests me, versus what doesn't, via a link. Those of you who may not want to view The Full Monty, can just avoid it, by not clicking on the link. Those of you who ARE interested in pictures of penis, might be motivated to click. Your choice. Just be aware that clicking means viewing closeups of penises and is NOT WORKPLACE SAFE!

So, my point is: I find pictures of genitalia in a state of partial engorgement, like this, more erotic than male members at full-tilt attention, like this.

There, I'm done with the "Show And Tell" aspect of today's post.

[Late Edition Addition: Don't think I don't know, by the way, that no matter WHAT size, shape, or configuration a penis is in, they all look pretty damned ridiculous.]

And, Finally, Because I KNOW You Were Wondering

The Homeland Security Poop Alert for jimmycity has been cancelled.
As you were.

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