This is Paul. I've worked with him for over 10 years now, and I never knew he was a Superhero! A Japanese Superhero, at that! He's from New Jersey, for cryin' out loud. How could he have kept such a thing from me, his supervisor? Why wouldn't he tell me about who he really is?
Wait a minute, I didn't come out to him until earlier this year...
Okay, I guess we're even now. Except he obviously has better fashion sense.
Other fun facts about Paul:
*He drives a Miata and belongs to a Miata-owners car club. They go places and do things together. In their Miatas. That's how it works.
*Besides his love for cheesy (read: bad) sci-fi and monster movies of the '50s and '60s, Paul has also nearly memorized every line of dialogue from every episode of The Simpsons ever made. Maybe I'm exaggerating here, but it might be true!
* His job performance is the most consistent of anyone I have ever supervised. He is methodical and has a keen eye for detail. (Lifted from the last performance review I gave him)
*A notoriously cheap bastard, he only goes out to eat for lunch if he has a coupon from someplace and only gets a haircut if he has a coupon from someplace. It's really pretty funny.
*Because of his ability to squeeze a penny until it bleeds, Paul goes on a magnificent vacation once a year. A few years back it was Paris. Last year, I think it was Peru. He just got back last week from this year's amazing vacation to Mexico City. Now I'm beginning to wonder if he really goes to these places to vacation, or if he's fighting huge monsters and saving Mankind in his spare time!
* I used to call him "Coupon Boy". Little did I know he is "Ultraman"!
[Late Edition Addition - Lest you think I whipped that pic up, I want to assure you that I have no such graphics skills. He, in fact, emailed it to me earlier today. I guess everyone has secrets, huh?]
5 comments:
HEY Paul! Lookin' mighty fine in that suit!
Listen, since you're a penny-pincher, like myself, how about I take you out to Subway for lunch sometime??? I've got a Subway card with, like, 800 points on it. I'll get you a free sub (of course you can't add anything extra on it, or it's not free, so then you'll have to buy it yourself). And you can wear your suit. And afterward we can go somewhere where you can let me help you out of that suit, if you catch my drift (you know, in appreciation of my buying you lunch). Let me know, I'm not doing much these days, thanks to Jim and Ice John...
I've scared everybody off, haven't I. Well, that's okay, I'll leave. Yes, you won't have the old Dickster to kick around anymore. I'm outta here. I'll just retreat to my own site. Alone. As usual.
By myself..
Please, don't you DARE abandon me, Dick! I need to know that you are here: watching, prowling, calculating your next move for your next conquest.
It comforts me...
You know, sometimes things get mixed up in translation. I bet the Japanese really says "Coupon Boy".
Well, okay....
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